1:30:54 on my watch…about 12:30 off my planned finishing time. “What happened” can be expressed like a list to Santa Clause, but I'll just leave it at:

a) HTC sucked the life out of my legs and

b) the back of my left knee/lower hamstring said “fuck this” at around mile 10 and cramped up, forcing me off the course to/stretch/walk/jog the final 5K

I could sense after mile 3 that I didn't have a real large reservoir of strength in my legs and that it was going to be a struggle to stay on pace. Mile 6 showed me a much larger/longer hill than I was anticipating, and by the time I wound my way through the seemingly never ending rolling hills through mile 8, I had not much left in the tank.

Still, through mile 9 or so, I was on pace for my 1:18ish, even though I was slowly slowing down from my admittedly too-fast first 1/3rd (23:10 at the 4-mile mark). Then around mile 10 my left leg just cramped up. My first thought was “oh shit, Victoria” so I didn't chance anything by trying to power through it. I walked/stretched and then would run until I felt it cramping up again. Repeat until about the final mile, at which I laid it out and at least crossed the line, though with no semblance of pride. There was this old dude in front of me…he passed me when I was walking, I'd pass him back when I ran, he'd pass me back when I'd walk…and then I found myself right behind him with a 1/4 mile to go but I just didn't have any desire to “dust him” in the final sprint. I'd feel like even more of a douche…like I was saving energy to look good in front of the fans.

Just…a shitty performance. I need to find something, be it a workout or a mental exercise, to gain back some confidence in the next 4-5 weeks. After my legs gave out at the 10 mile mark, I'm not too enthused about the prospect of running an extra 16.2 miles. I was kind of hoping I could PR something fierce today and come into the final stretch of training ready to take Victoria behind the woodshed. But…that didn't happen. The schedule shows one more 20+ mile workout, and hopefully I can get through that in strong fashion or else…I dunno.

Blah. At least Zack Grienke tossed 5 shutout innings tonight. Today's cloud's silver lining.